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<\/p>\nWORDS MATTER.
\nYour words shape your world.<\/p>\n
In light of the recent, explosive, and damning crisis concerning The Voice, where dozens of women have been brave and bold, sharing their stories of abuse, rape, feeling uncomfortable, unsafe\u2026.as a (communication) coach I\u2019d like to make the following clear.
\nCrystal clear.<\/p>\n
What causes abuse?
\nPeople.
\nIn this case, men.
\nMen cause abuse.<\/p>\n
Not what the women were wearing.
\nNot what the women were doing.
\nNot what the women were saying.
\nOr not saying.<\/p>\n
To make it absolutely clear- rape and abuse has one cause.
\nThe person who did it.
\nOr tried it.<\/p>\n
Rapists. Abusers. Predators.
\nCall them what you want but they are mostly men.
\nMen in power.
\nWho know it, use it, and abuse it.<\/p>\n
This Voice crisis has affected people I deeply, deeply care about, both personally and professionally. I have been in communication with all of them and they know I am here for them 24\/7. I took several days off social media as I was too filled with shock and sadness to find the right way to share what I was feeling.<\/p>\n
Every single woman I know has experienced unwanted advances.
\nThey come in many forms.<\/p>\n
The handshake that is 3 seconds too long.
\nThe hug where his hand is half on your lower back and half on your bottom.
\nThe full-body contact when you\u2019re pushing your chair in as you leave the table and they just happen to squeeze past you in that narrow lunchroom.
\nThe stare you can feel when they think you\u2019re not looking.
\nThe comments about your clothes and what is underneath them.
\nThe jokes about sex and how they look at you when they say the \u2018punchline\u2019.
\nThe \u2018can\u2019t you take a joke\u2019 response when you dare to roll your eyes.
\nThe introductions that start with \u2018Don\u2019t you want private lessons from her?\u2019<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve heard it all.
\nWe all have.
\nI\u2019m done.
\nSo done.<\/p>\n
So words matter.
\nChoose them well.
\nNo one had sex with you.
\nThey forced their body upon you.
\nYou did nothing.
\nThis is not your fault.
\nIt never, ever is.<\/p>\n
No matter what they say.
\nNo matter what you said to yourself.
\nNo matter what you didn\u2019t say.
\nNo matter what you wore.
\nNo matter how you walked.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s them.
\nIt\u2019s not you.
\nYou are not what has been brought upon you.
\nEven if you have been carrying it with you, in you, through you since you were a child.
\nI was 14.<\/p>\n
I look at this picture and I see a woman who was so very, very proud to work for The Voice of Vlaanderen after they heard about my work for The Voice of Holland. This was taken in the studio after a fantastic day coaching new candidates in Belgium.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
That same woman now is full of shame, shock, sadness.<\/p>\n
I stand in solidarity with all my clients, with all women everywhere, who have been abused by words, by hands, by bodies, by a single touch, by society, by the media, by bosses who don\u2019t know why they don\u2019t speak up (after they have signed a contract explicitly stating that they are not allowed to discuss what happens on the show or risk a 10k fine).<\/p>\n
Your words matter.
\nYOU matter.
\nYou MATTER.
\nThe way you talk to yourself shows up in how you talk to the world.
\nPlease know none of this is your fault.
\nNone. Of. It.
\nPlease.<\/p>\n
Reach out.<\/p>\n
Victim support NL: 0900-0101
\nVictim support BE: 1712
\nVictim support USA:\u00a0800.656.HOPE (4673)<\/p>\n
I’ll write you again when I can.<\/p>\n
Liefs,
\nBuffi<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
WORDS MATTER. Your words shape your world. In light of the recent, explosive, and damning crisis concerning The Voice, where dozens of women have been brave and bold, sharing their stories of abuse, rape, feeling uncomfortable, unsafe\u2026.as a (communication) coach I\u2019d like to make the following clear. Crystal clear. What causes abuse? People. In this […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":11967,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11970","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-blog"],"yoast_head":"\n