Feeling nervous when all eyes are on you?

These tips will help!

If you get nervous before speaking in public, this means that you are human. YEAH for not being a robot! Being nervous means that this talk is important to you. You care about the results and want to do a good job. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t care enough to get nervous.

When all eyes are on you, the energy shifts.

And I want you to remember something:

YOU DESERVE TO TAKE UP SPACE IN THE WORLD.

We’ll dive deeper into that in another newsletter, but here are 3 simple tips you can apply TODAY to help you feel better right away! 

1. B-R-E-A-T-H-E

If you breathe too high up in your body, this increases the ‘flight or fight’ hormone that makes you even more nervous. It used to help save our lives (thanks, for that, biology!) but now it can get in the way and cause everything from hyperventilation to a blackout. You need to breathe LOW and SLOW. From your belly button down. That’s the sweet spot. There are many different breathing techniques out there but I personally love the 4-7-8 breathing technique. You breathe in through your nose for a count of 4, then hold that for a count of 7, then have an ‘active’ slow and low exhale by making the SH or the F sound, for a count of 8. If you do this for 5-8 times, you will be amazed at how grounded and balanced you feel. Do not do this  while driving or operating heavy machinery! 

2. ACCEPT

Control what you can and let go of what you can’t. I show my clients how to make an IN MY CONTROL and OUT OF MY CONTROL list. Write down, and be as specific as you can, what is in your control. Do you know where the stage is? What kind of mic you’re using? Do you know the WIFI code? Have you checked your sides? Tested the sound? etc etc. What can you NOT control? Earthquakes. Coughing fits. Alien abductions. Dropped WIFI signals. Train disruptions. etc. When you compare these 2 lists you will see that you have worked hard to cover all the bases and controlled what you can. You can leave the aliens for someone else to worry about. 

3. PREPARE

Practise makes perfect (but stay human). I don’t want you to be overprepared. If you stick too much to your script, it might seem robotic and allows no flexibility for spontaneity and humanity. It seems like so many people forget this important step. You do need to practise, of course. Say your talk to yourself while you are driving (everyone will think you are on the phone, no worries!), in the shower (no one will think you are on the phone), and cooking at home. If you are overprepared, you will leave no room for spontaneity. Stay human. Don’t sound so polished that you sound like a robot. Always have a glass of water ready so that you can take a sip and collect your thoughts for a moment if you need to. One of my favorite TED talks is this one by Amy Cuddy and you can see how she herself gets emotional, and this just brings the audience in more. 

My darling.

You got this. You can do it.

Breathe.

Accept.

Prepare.

And stay your fabulous, imperfect self. 

Liefs, 

Buffi 

Check out my (Dutch) podcast for more tips & tricks!