Why perfection kills. And how to stop holding the gun.

Happy Monday, sweet darling, and can you believe that we are halfway through the LAST month of the year?!

We’re got about 2 weeks left.
How are you going to spend them?
Are you going to keep on comparing yourself to others, trying to be perfect, and hating yourself when you don’t measure up?

I had this conversation with a client last week who is in a constant battle with herself to be more attractive.
(Whatever that means.)
I told her ‘There will always be a supermodel someone is tired of sleeping with.’
She asked me to repeat it.
‘There will ALWAYS be a supermodel someone is tired of sleeping with.’

This hit her hard.
You see, she was caught up in the shame cycle of comparison that exists when you are trying to be perfect.
You will never measure up.

There will always be someone hotter than you.
There will always be someone richer than you.
There will always be someone who is having more orgasms than you.
There will always be someone better than you.
At everything.

But…no one can ever be more YOU than you!
So be you.
Be the biggest, bestest (no that is not a word) version of you that you have ever been.
Today and every day.
If you don’t celebrate who you truly are, how are we supposed to connect to the real you?

Stop trying to be perfect.
Perfection kills progress.
Perfection kills growth.
Perfection kills self-esteem.
And trying to be perfect is a choice.
You can decided to try to be perfect.
Or you can decide to not try to be perfect.

And take your precious, precious energy and spend it in celebration and appreciation instead.
That’s how I live.
And it WORKS.

If you don’t believe me, take it from 2 of my heroes, Marie Forleo and Seth Godin. They talk about it at length here. 
This is a must see if you are in a creative field and have to deal with nerves, writers block, etc. It was a game changer for me! One of the things Seth said that really resonated with me was this concept; ‘I write a blog every day. I’ve been doing that for over 20 years. I have written thousands and thousands of blogs. One  a day. And on Tuesday, I’m going to write another blog. Why? Is it because it’s the best blog I’ll ever write? No. It might be absolute crap. But I’ll write it because it’s Tuesday. And I write one every day.’

So get out there, hold your head up high, and celebrate who you are.
Without shame.
Without comparison.
Without fear.

You are enough.
Just as you are.

Love, Buffi

PS: If you are looking for a fabulous, fun, and educational gift, my books and cards all come with a special extra gift if ordered through my website before December 20. Want to give someone (or yourself) the gift of confidence in English? Look no further! Every book is personally signed by me until December 21.

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