Gotta lose my egg..

Hello darling! How are you on this happy holiday weekend? I hope you are having a wonderful time. You gotta love the Dutch. And I sure do! The Dutch made Easter 2 days long. Thank you, Dutchies! That’s why I’m sending this out early, so that we can all stay far, far away from our screens on Monday (and get very, very close to some good coffee, lovely wine, and maybe a good movie… or two after we find all the eggs we lost). In my family, we celebrate both Easter and Passover. I was raised Jewish and my husband was raised Catholic. This basically gives us the opportunity to celebrate just about any holiday that we can get our hands on. That’s why I’m making an Easter brunch for 6 and cooking Pesach dinner for 18. I’ll basically be living in my kitchen for the next few days but I love it! Here’s my little holiday gift to you: 8 expressions that have the word ‘egg’ in it, and my Favorite Dirty Jewish Joke. (Be warned. You must be over 21 to continue reading this newsletter.)

Try to activate these ‘eggy’ expressions and work one into your next conversation! Let me know how you used it!

  1. “To egg someone on” – to incite or to encourage someone to do something, often something risky or naughty. “She was egged on by her friends to go up to that hottie and offer to buy him a drink.” 
  2. “To egg someone” – to throw eggs at someone. “Damn, I got egged on April Fool’s Day!”
  3. “To have egg on one’s face”  – when one is embarrassed at having done something foolish or unwise. “He really had egg on his face when he gave his presentation and burped during his intro!” 
  4. “To walk on eggshells”  to be very cautious; to try not to upset or offend someone. “We really had to walk on eggshells at work when we heard that reductions were imminent in our department.” 
  5. “A good egg” – someone who’s a really good and honest person. “I don’t mind if you borrow my brand new Tesla; you’re a good egg.” 
  6. “You cannot make an omelet without breaking a few eggs” – this means that you have to give up or change something in order to get or create something better. “So, we have to break down that garage in order to build a new wellness center? Well, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.” 
  7. “A nest egg” – This is an amount of money that you are saving for later. “Don’t feel sorry for him for getting laid off – I hear he’s got quite a nest egg!” 
  8. “A bad egg” – this should come as no surprise, but it’s someone who is badly behaved or dishonest. “OMG, you broke my new Tesla?!? You are such a bad egg!” 

And now it’s time for one of my Favorite Dirty Jewish Jokes:

An older woman goes to see her doctor. He asks, “What’s the matter? You’re in perfect health!” She replies, “I’m not here for me, but for my husband. He’s not interested in making love anymore and I don’t know what to do!” “Oh”, the doctor says, “give him some Viagra. I’ll write you a prescription.” “But no, doctor”, the woman replied,  “he hates medicine of any kind – he won’t even take an aspirin! There’s no way I can get him to take that pill! What else can I do?” “Aha!” said the doctor, “then you need to give him Secret Viagra.” “What’s that?” asked the woman. “Secret Viagra is when you slip the pill in his coffee. Just give it to him the next time you have coffee – he’ll never know the difference.” “Ok, doctor, thank you. I will try that.” And off she went.

Two days later she comes back to the doctor, limping. The doctor said, “What’s wrong? Did you have an accident? Did you fall down?” “No!” she replied, “Not at all!”  “Then what happened?!” said the doctor. The woman sighs. “I did just what you told me to do. I put the Viagra in his coffee. Before I knew it, my husband ripped open his shirt, like some kind of animal, and made love to me for an hour right there on the table like Cassanova.” “Oh!” exclaimed the doctor. “That’s very good news! I’m so glad it worked!” “Well, I’m not”, said the woman. “Why not?” asked the doctor. “I can never go back to that Starbucks again.”

(I told you it was dirty.)

HAPPY WEEKEND, DARLINGS! See you again zoen!

Wit lof from buffi xx

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